Send Me Something To Make Me Feel Better?

I’m halfway through my training course. It’s a dumpster fire, for sure. Exam is coming near end of April, no idea if any of us will pass. Most of the class doesn’t seem to care that much. The training is paid, so there’s not much skin in the game. I’m the oldest guy there, twice the age of most of them. I don’t know if that’s going to work for, or against me.

I don’t have the energy to write much. I’m up early to be at work for 8am, which isn’t that early. By the time I’m done… I’m done. Still not having a home is depressing, and the market is getting worse. I’m using more sedatives and hypnotics than I can get hold of, and falling back in to drinking just to get by.

The reality of my new “career” is setting in, along with it, the acceptance that I’ll always be broke and retirement will only come when I’ve lived my last day. I feel like the second chance is turning into a cruel ruse to try to keep me alive a little longer.

I’ll try to be here more, but it’s hard when I hit that point of not caring. I had to renew my hosting last week, and it damn near broke me financially and mentally. Not on a hot streak recently. Tell me something to cheer me up?

2 Replies to “Send Me Something To Make Me Feel Better?”

  1. Hi! Here’s a little something. I’ve bookmarked you page and see it on my New Tab page every time I open my browser on my laptop. That hasn’t happened as often lately, hence my absence. But in these days of Quarantine and isolation, I’m curious as to how you’re doing. Might I suggest taking this time and the host renewal to maybe redesign the site layout to something that works better or flows better? We can talk about it anytime.
    Also, still interested on that guide to the deep web.

    1. Hey, it’s good to hear from you again. I’ve just been laid off from my new job/training program because of COVID19, so I’m going to have some time on my hands. I’m working on the dark market how-to for next week. I’d love some guidance on how to improve the layout of the blog. Twenty five years ago I was writing HTML and had websites on geocities, tripod etc, but I’m completely lost now. I’m at the mercy of this wordpress template and have no clue how to change anything or make it more reader friendly. I’d like to have a way for people to contribute content, there’s so many incredible stories out there that I’m hearing from folks. Shoot me an email sometime with any suggestions. I could really use an editor or webmaster here. There’s so much about this I don’t understand. I can’t pay anything right now, but my IOUs are solid AF. Haha. Stay safe…

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